Tuesday, December 02, 2008

i have always wondered how it wud feel. after the "deed" that is . i mean have always heard of people "doing it" all around me, all keep taliking and raving about how good and nice "it" feels, how wonderfulo a "deed" it can be, and how essential and basic to mankinds nature "it" is. and finally, i "did it".
as a child , i didnt know much about "it". the age of innocence just goaded me to think that all i did was wats there to do in life in thsi world, that the things i liked are the things all like. neither was the deed discussed nor thought about in the puritan and conservative household that my home is. na , its not that brahmanical in ambience , but we are brahmins nonetheless, so out of the window go taboo subjects like "the deed". so till i guess i was in college , life without it was the only life i knew! none i know of at home did it, nor were they interested in it.

though a teenage full of constant demarches to stay away from "it" added to the charm oand mystery attached to the act , i never quite had the guts to jump roght inot "it". like many other teenage fantasies fuelled by raging hormones, this "deed" too took the form of the forbidden fruit that adam was asked not to touch , but tempted nonetheless. guess i was waiting for an eve to tempt me fatally into the act ! aah, this even more made me imagine myself out there actually in the act , enjoying every single moment of it.

as teenage made way for a more hedonistic hormone-homeostasised adulthood, fresh young blood of mine took a moralistic approach to the forbidden fruit of yore, making me think that wat i didnt succumb to as a teen, neednt entice me now as a mature adult ! how wrong i was , for i forgot that after all i am aman , and men are supposed to folly at the slightest hint of temptation , especially if it is a long desired one! this period , marked by a constant fight deep inside me , about the moral pros and cons of doing the"deed" made me also rationalise the act in logical terms free from the baggae of moral evils that my upbringing had forced me to attach to the whole idea. so as i realsied that all my friends all my enemies, why for that matter everyone around me was into the act, like it was the most ntural thing to do aas a human being, iw as the one left out , with a self imposed ban on even remtely associating myself with something so demenaning and wrong to do as "the deed". unbrahmanical , i wudve surely been dipped in boiling hot oil in the court of the mighty yama.

but finally, i have given in to the temptation. the forbidden fruit has been bitten! and eve has taken control of the innocent man's future. pandora opened the box with the heavy lid of morality once again, this time to unleash god knows what ! and yama has just raised the heat under the cauldron marked for me in the after life. yes , after 25 years of living a celibate and chaste life on this eveil infested earth, i have done the deed!
i just ate my first chicen kebab roll from the college canteen!

i hope yama doesnt get too upset!

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